No it really does.
My job does not pay me enough to keep up with the bills. I am not "keeping up with the Jones'." And so I need another one. You would think that with my background and experience blah, blah, blah, it wouldn't be so hard. Pshaw. I'm not asking for a lot of money here people! It's nonprofit! But alas, I will keep doing public relations and acting in children's theater productions because it's what I'm passionate about right now. I could be a corporate brown-noser. Sniffing out the ripest butthole to insert my nose, thereby getting ahead in life. Theater is more fun though, and less smelly.
Something will come along. I know that's what you are thinking. And you are probably right. But save it. This is my blog and I do what I want. Just kidding. I'm confident I will find success. Like everyone else though, I want it NOW.
On to other missed opportunities...
The other day I happened to glance up from my daily morning trance-walk to West 38th, listening to I believe a Missy Elliot anthem, and spot a gorgeous twenty-something, murse-carrying specimen of a man. Naturally, I get excited and start following him like he was going to lead me to El Dorado. I turned down West 36th and as I was about to come upon him, he stops abruptly and turns around. I immediately ran, yes RAN, across the street, unmindful of traffic and passersby. I panicked. I had my sight set on something so beautiful and just let it slip away. What was I going to do if I caught up to him? Compliment his murse? Ask him how the weather was? What? Missed my chance at what could have been a happy marriage, or civil union, and many adopted Asian baby girls.
I also bought a coffee at Pret A Manger today and glancing in the organic coffee shop around the corner I saw the most attractive barista I had ever seen, other than myself in my Starbucks days. Dark, shaggy hair. Lip piercing. Sharp blue eyes. Just simply delectable. So, I left my newly purchased large coffee from Pret, complete with organic soy and the perfect amount of sugar, on the ledge by the shop and went in. I didn't want him to think I was a traitor, buying other cafe's sludge. Or even worse, a stalker who just wanted to converse (bone) with him. I walked up to the counter and he was as pleasant as you would think he would be, with eyes that I could just swim in. He asked "Hey what's up?" My libido and I want to suck on your piercing. "Hi how are you? Just a large coffee please." "Anything else?" Can you spit in it so I can taste you? "Nope that's it." Thanks, bye. Two coffees, no boyfriend. Four dollars less and still no sex. Missed my chance.
It's New York City! Opportunities at love should be boundless! I know what you are thinking. How Carrie Bradshaw of you Nick. Well yes. It is very Carrie. I don't care. It's been so long since I've been in a serious relationship. Usually, I date a guy for a week or two and then break his heart. How Samantha (pre-Smith) of you. Yea I know. Is it so wrong to find the perfect guy? Where are you?? Are you reading this? Chances are you are not. But if you are that guy in the coffee shop, I will stalk you from the sidewalk tomorrow because you're coffee is too expensive and one day I know you will notice me watching and not be freaked out.
Despite it all, I am always the optimist. I'm the same fun-loving guy I've always been. I'm just realizing that I will be a quarter of a century old in three and a half months. And I hope some of these missed opportunities will be found by then. Maybe all it takes is the right cafe, the perfect happy hour spot, the nonprofit job listing site I haven't discovered yet. I will be sitting in my one to two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, smiling.
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